Your spouse cheated on you and you had to find out by doing your own painful detective work. You are crushed and worried because all the trust is demolished. Confusion fills your head and you fear that things can never get better. Hopelessness is the norm and part of you desires that things would change in a dramatic way. You may be experiencing betrayal trauma.
Rebuilding trust after betrayal trauma requires empathy and takes hard work.
Betrayal trauma is when you have no trust in your partner because of either a current infidelity you experienced or from a previous relationship. The process of experiencing that infidelity and lying was so painful that it is a legitimate trauma. The breaking of trust drastically changes how you perceive your reality and the relationship. The biggest question is how to either leave the relationship or how to rebuild trust.
Rebuilding trust seems like an impossible task. Most people do not know where to start. In order to rebuild trust the person who cheated needs to be willing to fix things. The relationship cannot last if the person who cheated has no intention of changing. Both people have to been motivated to make change. When one part of the couple doesn’t want to make a change, they hold the majority of the power in the relationship. I’ve seen this and it isn’t fair.
Being able to practice empathy when you are hurting is difficult. Making sure your spouse is on board being able to understand their feelings is paramount to building trust again. This is why therapy can be a great option because you have a neutral third part there to be able to help you both improve your communication. When you master empathy it is a superpower and can help you navigate your own tough emotions with greater finesse.
If you are ready to make a change in your life, please reach out and set an appointment today.
Article covering the benefits of empathy.
