Couples Therapy
This probably isn’t the first time…
… you’ve thought about reaching out for help. If you’re here, you’ve probably been stuck in a cycle of frustration for a long time.
“Is this worth it?”
“Will things ever change?”
“Is there hope?”
These questions loom in the background…
… as you replay your latest argument on the way home from work.
It’s exhausting running through the same doubts over and over.
Communicating these things with your spouse would be nice, but it usually ends in a fight.
A restless hesitation makes you hold your concerns (and resentment) to yourself.
It might be time to make some changes.
Being heard and understood…
When wives are overwhelmed with day-to-day tasks like taking care of the kids, setting appointments, or running errands, they want to be emotionally understood by their husbands. When husbands don’t acknowledge the fatigue, stress, and exhaustion they endure to make the family succeed, frustration and resentment mount. Hesitant to start another fight, you keep these things bottled up until they explode in a painful, embarrassing mess.
In couples therapy, both partners stop talking and actually LISTEN to each other. I have the listening partner repeat what they heard in their own words.
They struggle and stumble until they’ve fully related and connected emotionally to their partner’s frustration and pain.
Mastering your emotions…
Vulnerable emotions are the key to happiness in your relationship. Understanding feelings of pain, sadness, worry, and fear are a few of the emotions that can turn possible arguments into opportunities for deeper emotional connection.
Be prepared to look at each other in the eyes in therapy and think about the emotions in the verbal messages you send each other every day.
I will guide you to practice learning new patterns of talking to each other that rekindle your friendship and rebuild trust in your marriage.
Increasing the ratio of positive to negative interactions…
We want that ratio to be at least 5:1.
To heal and have a sustainable, satisfying relationship, you must have more positive memories than negative ones.
It takes thought to have positive interactions, so your thoughts will be focused on improving your relationship in small, simple ways.
Improving communication…
You’ll learn to tell your spouse what you need… instead of thinking they’ll read your mind or pick up on clues. No one can read minds, so it’s not productive to act like your spouse can or should.
Being able to ask for what you need will remove ambiguity and miscommunication.
Identifying vulnerable emotions…
You’ll learn to do this in your spouse’s and your own verbal communication.
It’s easy to react and argue with your spouse. More difficult is being emotionally vulnerable enough to dive into your or your partner’s inner experiences.
After couples therapy, you’ll be able to identify vulnerable emotions in your spouse and validate them.
This will change the direction of your conversation, making them emotionally connective instead of acrimonious.
Couples therapy isn’t for everyone.
Clients without the desire to change are better off not coming into therapy. It can’t be the case that I’m working harder than you to save your relationship.
If you’re allergic to the truth, you’d also be better off with a different therapist. Change in therapy wholly depends on the truth spoken by each party coming to therapy.
But if you’re willing to own your mistakes and understand the part you play in the relationship, you can make great strides in therapy!
If you’re ready to rejuvenate your marriage…
Give me a call, and we can discuss what’s going on and what you’re looking for.
If we are a good fit, we’ll set up a session, and I’ll send you the paperwork.
Something so important has never been easier to get started!
Call now and let’s get to know each other during your free consultation: (385) 325-1779.